Dr. John Perito pulls up the rug on a topic all too often swept under it in "Adolescent Sexuality: Too Much Too Soon, Spiritual and Sexual Guidance for Parents." His book aspires to help parents, teachers and clergy members guide young people into becoming committed lovers and good parents.
Readers should be prepared not only to learn about the old standby issues like contraception and sexually transmitted diseases, but also some disturbing new trends.
"Sexuality is a gift from God that requires a long developmental period," the Silver Spring resident observes.
The book, he cautions, is for adults only, especially for parents who should have informed opinions about adolescent sexuality.
"I see [parents] primarily as teachers, either by word or by example," he says.
In his preface, Dr. Perito writes that he chose adolescence "because it is the life stage most prone to vulnerability and confusion."
Prior to medical school and 40 years as a psychiatrist specializing in psychosexual development and its relationship to spirituality, he spent four years studying for the priesthood.
"Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be either a priest or a doctor," says Perito. "I less and less was able to see myself functioning as a priest and less and less functioning as a celibate."
After retiring from private practice in 1996, Dr. Perito worked at the Christian Institute for the Study of Human Sexuality helped train people in the Catholic Church on how to determine fitness for a life of celibacy.
The doctor's first book dealing with the intersection of spirituality and sexuality, "Contemporary Catholic Sexuality, What is Taught and What is Practiced," was released in 2000.
"To me, sexuality is a big, big piece of our life," he says, adding that it is how men and women relate to each other, although there is far too much objectification of people, especially women.
"We don't want to be treating each other as objects, but treating each other as persons," he says.
Part of the book focuses on the results of a survey about sex and spirituality given to 90 college students. The students expressed their thoughts on subjects like abortion and foreplay.
"College students are very close to adolescents themselves," Perito points out, crediting them with fresh experience and a certain awareness of life. Their answers, he says, showed an "extraordinary" degree of reflection and maturity in stark contrast to the current "hook-up" culture.
Perito, married for more than 50 years, has two children, now in their mid-40s. When he was raising his children, his own social and religious attitudes were still evolving.
"I think I was learning when I was raising my own kids," he says. "I was not talking to them nearly enough."
The book, he insists, is not like a cookbook; it does not offer a foolproof set of steps, or a recipe, that will result in proper sex education. Rather, he says, it is a guide that parents should reflect on in deciding what is right for their children.
A sense of empowerment is the most important thing Perito wants parents to get from his book. Children may give the impression that they care more about their peers, but parents still have a lot of control.
"Have confidence that you have a prominent place in your child's life," he advises.
"Adolescent Sexuality: Too Much Too Soon, Spiritual and Sexual Guidance for Parents" is available at www.johnperitomd.com and at major online booksellers.