‘PEP’ to help with parenting

Nonprofit Parent Encouragement Program turns 25

Buck’s wife put a list of household chores on the refrigerator, and asked Buck and their daughter to lend a hand, and make things more equitable.

His daughter volunteered for laundry duty.

‘‘I got pink underwear the first time,” he said. ‘‘But from age 6 until she left for college, she got offended when anyone else would do the wash. It wasn’t a chore; it was something she was proud she’d learned.”

Since that time, thousands of parents have learned the same lessons that Buck did through PEP, a Kensington nonprofit that focuses on teaching parents about positive, respect-based parenting.

Born in the Silver Spring kitchen of Linda Jessup in 1982, the program recently celebrated its 25th anniversary.

The program is based on the teachings of Austrian psychologist Alfred Alder, whose work focused on mutual respect and shared responsibility in the late 1890s and early 1900s.

‘‘There are parenting styles that range from autocratic to laissez faire,” Jessup said. ‘‘We have an egalitarian approach.”

It’s this democratic approach that parents say helped their families.

‘‘It’s easy to fall into the role of ‘I’m your superior, we’re going to do things my way,’” said Caren Sadikman, a mother of two. ‘‘But I wouldn’t want to be treated that way, and our family has benefited from not treating our children that way.”

Classes are held during the day, at night and on the weekend, and childcare is available at some locations. Since its beginnings of classes in Jessup’s basement, the program has grown to classes throughout Montgomery County, Washington, D.C., and northern Virginia.

According to the numbers, the classes work. More than 1,800 parents enroll in PEP classes every year, and more than 31,000 have attended since the program started.

Classes range from ‘‘Managing Anger” and ‘‘Handling Temper Tantrums,” to classes for parents of older children, like ‘‘Planning for Safe Teen Driving.”

More than 100 teachers are registered to teach PEP classes, and nearly all volunteer their time. All are parents who have taken PEP classes in the past, and want to share their experiences with others.

And while PEP has been a steady community influence for 25 years, the parenting community, according to those at PEP, has changed drastically.

As more families are supported by two incomes, less time is spent at home for either parent. Since the early 1980s, and especially since the 1950s, the world has become more complicated, according to PEP teacher Marlene Goldstein.

‘‘There is a lot of pressure for two-income families,” said Goldstein, who has been teaching at the program for more than 16 years. ‘‘People are just torn: How do I manage my job and still have a good family life?”

The answer, according to another PEP advocate, is one-on-one time.

‘‘When you’re rushed, children don’t get as much attention as they otherwise would,” said Craig Tregillus, fund-development chair for PEP. ‘‘They need time when the TV and cell phones are off, and it’s just one on one with the parent, even if it’s just for 15 minutes.”

As more and more women enter the workforce, PEP has also seen its demographics change. When he first started taking classes in the early 1990s, Tregillus said he was often the only man in the class.

But now the classes are almost split evenly between men and women, he said.

‘‘Men realized they were missing out on a big part of life by not helping raise their children,” Tregillus said. ‘‘For those of us that have experienced the benefits [of raising children] it’s wonderful.”

Learn More

Prices vary for classes and workshops at the Parent Encouragement Program, ranging from $5 for a workshop, to more than $300 per couple for an eight-week course. For more information about PEP, visit www.PEPparent.org, call 301-929-8824, or e-mail PEPOffice@aol.com