When Sarah Birnbach's first marriage ended after 18 years, an Olney-based support group for people experiencing the same life-changing situation helped her to reach happiness, she said.
Now remarried for a little more than three years, the 60-year-old Rockville resident said she would not be the person she is today had it not been for the support of her friends in New Beginnings, a nonprofit organization that offers discussion groups and social events for men and women who are newly separated or divorced.
But even as members are evolving, so is the organization.
The group is celebrating its 30th anniversary this month at a time when it is trying to adapt to a world in which more people are turning to the Internet for social networking and self-help, said Carol Randolph, the founder and executive director of New Beginnings.
According to New Beginning's Web site, a six-month membership is $30 and a year-long membership is $48. There is also a $7 fee per meeting for snacks and other materials. In return, members have access to the facilitated meetings as well as speaker events, discounted admission to social events, a monthly newsletter, a membership directory and more.
Membership has increased by $3 since 2002, Randolph said. The increase went into effect in August 2004.
The group had about 1,000 members in 2002; it is now down to 275.
"As wonderful as the Internet is, you don't have the synergy of a group," she said. "I can't imagine going through some kind of life crisis without hearing someone's voice or seeing their facial expressions."
Randolph, who founded New Beginnings after she separated from her first husband, said belonging to a face-to-face group also can provide a safer experience.
"A membership organization offers another layer of safety and security in that everyone who joins is screened for eligibility and must adhere to a code of conduct in order to remain a member," she said.
Birnbach, who is on the organization's board of directors, said it was helpful to be in the same room with people who also have witnessed the collapse of a marriage.
"When you're in a room with people who are having the same painful experience, it is validating and it is grounding in a way that I don't think an Internet connection is," she said.
Randolph, a 58-year-old Olney resident, said she attributes New Beginnings' drop in membership to the Internet making it easier to organize social events as well as people getting out of marriages and immediately turning to online dating sites.
Although New Beginnings has led to 202 marriages, she stressed the group is foremost about helping people work through their pain in a healthy way.
"A new partner is not the answer for someone who has just gotten out of a marriage," Randolph said, adding that people have to face their painful emotions before they can move on.
New Beginnings offers 10 meetings a month in members' homes in Maryland, Virginia and Washington. The topics include issues specifically for people in the early stages of separation, as well as issues pertaining to dating, new relationships and personal growth. All meetings are facilitated by a member volunteer trained by Randolph and her husband, Craig Durkin, to guide the discussion.
New Beginnings recently launched its Transition to the Future campaign, an effort to raise money, expand its online presence and attract new members and perhaps new leaders, as Randolph said she will retire in a few years.
Although the group is changing, she said she is proud of what it has accomplished over three decades.
"To have been able to transform my own pain into a resource for others and to witness how that resource continues to make a very real difference in people's lives, is a great privilege, one that is very humbling," Randolph said.