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Most of Monday night's Young Life of Upper Montgomery County meeting was like any other. The more than 100 teens assembled in a Laytonsville home put on skits, laughed with friends and clapped and sang along to songs by Tom Petty and Bill Withers.
But from the Biblical passages posted on the wall to the smattering of teens wearing motocross gear, there was something different.
"We spent a lot of time together [after the accident]. There were tons of kids over all the time," Young Life Area Director Stefan Wiltz of Damascus said. "It was as hard on the leaders as it was on the teenagers. When you're helping the teenagers, it's hard to grieve yourself. When something like this happens in a high school to a kid so many kids identify with, there are just lots of people who have questions."
The meeting began with a slideshow tribute to Didone, girls had written his motocross number, 101, on their faces and hair ribbons and a poster proclaimed in paint and glitter, "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain," a quote from the book of Philippians that was on Didone's Myspace.com profile the day that he died.
"I know that Ryan, if he was here, he'd be having a blast and he'd want us to go on," Young Life Leader Bobby Patton told the group after the slideshow. Returning to normalcy while honoring their friend's memory was important to members of the group, Wiltz said.
"The teenagers we talked to said ‘we just want to laugh and have club again,'" he said. "...This will be a defining moment in their lives. They'll never forget what happened, how it changed them, and I think the kids are looking for answers. They're looking for assurance and I think we helped provide that."
Healing has been difficult, the teens said, though the relationships they formed through the group were a source of strength, and new relationships sprang from the tragedy.
"I kind of gave up for a while," said Cody Jacobs, 17, of Damascus, a close friend of Didone's who Wiltz said, like other youths, began attending meetings in the last year. "...There was a lot of anger, there was more than anger."
After the shock wore off came learning how to move forward.
"I just couldn't imagine life without Ryan," Kevin Abelmann, 16, of Damascus said, adding that the accident increased his devotion to the group. "I didn't know him that well but every time you saw him he'd make you smile. He connected with everybody, even the people who barely knew him."
Jacobs, Abelmann and others said Didone's death showed them the importance of living life to its fullest.
"We'll never forget this, it'll never go away. Even a year later, I don't think all of the memory is a bad one. It's hard, it's difficult, but it's not all bad," Wiltz said. "...I've seen a lot of good that's come out of it the last year and I think there's a lot more to come."
