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Perusing the local scholastic athletic schedules a few weeks back I noticed the Frederick County Public Schools Golf Champions would be held at Cluster Spires on the first day of October.

As a semi-regular duffer, I pondered about my ability at age 28 to compete with players some of whom are nearly half my age.

Please allow me to make something clear before I continue writing: I cheated. Those whose scores I'm attempting to better are younger, play more golf and know the track better than me. While they walk, I used a cart. And when the mood struck, I employed a mulligan or two. Also, consider I've never played Clustered Spires. Here is a summary of my triumphs and travails on the course.

First Hole, 10, Par 5 507 yards: Patience is not one of my virtues. With three pairings log jammed in front of me I opted to start on the back nine. Having last picked up a club in August, I figured a few practice swings were in order. Formally addressing the ball, I idiotically tapped it off its perch not once, but twice. Technically those blunders count, I chose to ignore them. Finally after literally five minutes I hit my drive, a gorgeous dart that split the fairway. Left with just over 200 yards, I pulled my four iron and stuck my approach within 20 feet from the cup. Two puts later and I walked away with a birdie. -1

Second Hole, 11, Par 4 311 yards: Back to earth. After slicing my drive over a neighboring tee box, I pulled my trusty loft wedge to vanquish myself out of the rough. Two attempts and 15 yards later I was finally on the green where I eventually posted a double bogey. +1

Fourth Hole, 13, Par 3 131 yards: Three holes down and desperation begun to sink in. Bettering District and County champ Alex Hoffman of Middletown had all but been forgotten. Employing a pitching wedge, I landed the ball 15 feet from the cup. A pair of putts resulted in a solid par. +3

Sixth Hole, 15, Par 5, 509 yards: Encountered a deer and groundhog on the way to tee. Fortunately there was no bloodshed. Nailing the drive, I of course shanked the second shot. I still managed a par with a dead on approach and two solid putts. +5

Seventh Hole, 17, Par 4, 341 yards: Following a short hiatus, which included a trip to the woods and an attempt to supercharge the cart with a tee (mine were too short) I returned to the course. I wish I wouldn't have. Suffered the first casualty of the day when I lost my tee shot. On my second, well technically fourth short, my divot traveled farther than the ball. A triple bogey. +8

Eighth Hole: 18, Par 4, 412 yards: I am the man! Birdie. +7

Making the turn, I thought about what those I had spoken with had said about not getting too high or too low following a specific hole or shot. From now on I was determined to keep an even keel, focusing only on the shot at hand.

Tenth Hole, 2, Par 3 138 yards: A solid nine iron got me to the edge of the green. Three putts later I walked off with a bogey. Stoicism runs dry as anger forces a mild toss of the putter. +8

Eleventh Hole, 3, Par 5 471 yards: Methodically pared the hole. However, I had to rescue my ball from pile of goose poop. +8

Twelfth Hole, 4, Par 4, 331 yards: Gave my ball a much desired bath, should have tossed it into the trash can. Hit a drive into the rough then shanked my second shot. Ended with a double. +10

Thirteenth Hole, 5, Par 5 519 yards: Continued my mastery of the lengthiest holes with a cruise missile of a drive that approached 300 yards. Left approach short of the green and two putted for par. +10

Fourteenth Hole, 6, Par 4 351 yards: I question why I ever picked up a club. I dropped my second shot into the drink. Bladed a chip over the green, then proceeded to spout off many words which cannot be repeated here. Triple Bogey. +13

Fifteenth Hole, 7, Par 3 163 yards: Harking back to what the district golfers told me about playing one hole and shot at a time, I sit beside the tee box for a moment and try to reclaim my composure. Seven iron 10 feet from the cup. Sunk the putt for Birdie. +12

Sixteenth Hole, 8, Par 4 361 yards: Momentum killed due to a call from my editor. Still managed par after getting up and down. +12

Eighteenth Hole, 16, Par 3 207 yards: Meandering my way back through the course, I arrive at 16 and once again have to wait. An older couple on the green finishes surprisingly fast and I pull my four iron to tee off. Skipping it onto the green, I end my day with a solid par. +13 (85)

Speaking with Hoffman after last month's District win, where he shot a 69, I finished my interview with a question: "can I get a lesson?" Hoffman said, "anytime."

Does anyone have his number?