More News

Turns out students aren't the only ones with a homework problem.

Tired of the nighttime arguments that can occur when trying to motivate their children to complete assignments, a group of 16 parents came to the Silver Spring Library on Aug. 19 to get some expert tips on how to best help their children with homework.

For many, the issues surrounding homework — motivation, routine and the role of parents — touched on much deeper elements of the children-parent relationship.

"You came here tonight thinking you were going to talk about homework," explained instructor Rob Guttenberg, an author, psychologist and director of parenting education for YMCA Youth and Family Services. "When you get right down to it, we're going to talk about power struggles."

According to Guttenberg, the best way for parents to win battles over homework is to avoid them entirely. That task isn't simple. Parents need to know how to motivate their children to do their homework in a way that isn't controlling, pampering or confrontational, he said.

"If we start moving into power struggles, the evening is going to be about who's going to win," Guttenberg said. "Not much homework is going to get done."

Though each child and the reasons they might struggle with homework are unique, Guttenberg, who has an 8-year-old daughter and a 26-year-old son, said there are general strategies that can be effective with any child.

Among those keys is allowing children some freedom to make mistakes and learn about consequences. Too much help can sometimes get in the way, Guttenberg said.

If parents always wake their children up in the morning, they won't learn how to do it on their own. If parents always do their children's laundry, they won't learn the consequences of not having clean clothes.

The same lessons can extend to homework assignments. By facing consequences from teachers and other authorities at school, students can learn the effects of not completing or handing in assignments.

Rebecca Maranville, a single mother of three, said she is always looking for advice on how to help her children do their work without intervening too much. She reads books about motivating children and came all the way from Rockville to attend the Silver Spring workshop. Over time, she said she's learned that by strictly allotting homework time, her kids know when they need to get their work done.

"We live by structure," she said. "You can pretty much do anything that way."

Guttenberg said that establishing routines is good and suggested avoiding explicit examples punishment and rewards, which are both control mechanisms that children don't respond well to.

"Encouragement and consequences are the substitute for praise and reward," he said.

Silver Spring resident Sylvia Sherman, who has an 8-year-old son, said she learned a lot by attending the seminar. Coming in, she explained how she had difficulty in getting her son to focus on assignments at night. Rather than scold him in the future, she said she'll now try having him deal with the consequences at school.

"Helping them to make the decisions on their own and what they need to do for themselves — that's a great approach," she said. "Starting tomorrow, he'll be waking himself up."

Establish a regular time for homework. Make a schedule for short- and long-term projects.

Establish a regular, uncluttered place with few distractions for homework.

Show your kids how important education is by taking them on educational trips and getting involved in school.

Use homework time to do parallel work or read.

Do not compare your children to each other or other kids.

Source: "Homework Hassles," Pam Mintz, YMCA Youth and Family Services