Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Twenty & Change: Love and marriage

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When I was dating and all my friends were already hitched, I knocked marriage. I thought it was much more fun to do whatever with whomever whenever, without having to answer to anyone.

But had I known about all the benefits marriage offers, I would have done it a lot sooner — except that had I done it a lot sooner, I would have married a guy with a huge, honkin’ Yoda tattoo on his biceps or any other number of less-than-stellar choices instead of my nice, relatively normal husband. Ladies, and guys, please don’t date just for the sake of having something to do.

All of a sudden, there’s approximately $30 more in my paycheck a week because the federal government has decided it likes married people. And I’m told that when we file our taxes, we’ll get money back. Hopefully. It’s like a belated wedding gift from Uncle Sam.

And my car insurance company? It has decided that since I’m married, I’m more mature and will drive more responsibly. Payments? Down like James Brown. (Also known as too much George Clinton.) I was so happy when my insurance agent informed me of the change in payment, I nearly cried tears of joy. It didn’t occur to me until later to be angry that the higher rates are discriminatory against single people.

Then there’s the other stuff. Because Husband is (again) a nice guy and tends to get home earlier than I do, he cooks more often than not. Gone are the days of having a delectable dinner of cold cereal and beer on the floor in front of the television.

In fact, as I spun in circles in my desk chair and tried to come up with a column that could rival the cat butt one that ran two weeks ago, he dutifully made a salad and heated up some bread. (As an aside, I am thrilled that so many people have decided to pass along the cat butt love. About 30 of you asked where you could get cat butt magnets.) And on occasion, he’ll even do my laundry if he happens to be doing a load of his own.

Seriously, all joking aside, the whole marriage thing is pretty cool — probably the best decision I’ve ever made. Husband is my best friend, and I get to hang out with him all the time. I know some people knock it — you know who I’m talking about: the ones who can’t imagine being with just one person for the rest of their lives. But really, I can’t imagine anything better.