Brian Kotler's life was turned upside down last year after a routine operation left him in constant pain.
Kotler, a 30-year-old father of three from Frederick, suffered nerve damage during a vasectomy and was left with persistent, intense pain up and down his body. He could no longer work or focus on his studies at Frederick Community College, and he and his wife of seven years recently separated because of the stress, he said.
"I can't sit through classes, I can't read my books and concentrate through the pain and medication," Kotler said. "…It's just been pain, pain, pain ever since."
Chronic pain can affect nearly every aspect of a patient's life but remains poorly understood, and sufferers often carry the burden in silence, according to Gwenn Herman, founder of the nonprofit Pain Connection. The Potomac-based group helps break that silence through free support groups in Bethesda and Wheaton and five new monthly support groups, including three in the upcounty, added this year with the help of a $33,750 grant from the nonprofit Healthcare Initiative Foundation.
They include a group for Chinese speakers in Gaithersburg, a group for Spanish speakers in Silver Spring, a group in Germantown and a group specializing in biofeedback, where people learn to improve their health by controlling body processes such as heart rate, in Bethesda, according to Herman. A group specializing in gentle movement will begin meeting in Washington Grove next month.
Attendees share stories and learn coping mechanisms such as breathing techniques, meditation and guided imagery. Stress can trigger or exacerbate pain, and relaxation techniques help people regain control.
"Talking about our issues in life is very important," Germantown group leader Eileen Bernstein, a licensed professional clinical counselor, said at a recent meeting. "Pain is not something other people can see. Because it's not seen by others, we want to hide it and we can have negative feelings about it."
Chronic pain affects more Americans than diabetes, cancer and heart disease combined, but little is known about its causes, according to the American Pain Foundation. Services are limited, and pain is often inadequately assessed or treated by healthcare providers, according to the foundation.
"The community is just at the beginning of understanding pain management because it deals with muscles, nerves and the brain," Bernstein said. "Organs are easy to understand, we've done a lot of research on organs. The problem is there are many pain receptors in the brain."
The subjective nature of pain can make patients feel isolated and many struggle with misconceptions that their conditions should be visible, Bernstein said. Chronic pain can change a person's temperament, strain relationships and lead to feelings of frustration, depression or guilt, according to the pain foundation.
"A year ago if someone said ‘I'm in pain all the time,' I might have said ‘Sorry, it's a fact of life,'" Kotler said with a shrug. "If you don't have it, you don't understand."
-The free Pain Connection Chronic Pain support group meets the second Thursday of the month from noon-1:30 p.m. at the Germantown Community Center, 18905 Kingsview Road. For details, call Eileen Bernstein at 301-275-7687 or visit www.painconnection.org.
-A Pain Connection group for Chinese speakers meets 7-8 p.m. the third Wednesday of the month at Child Center and Adult Services Inc., 16220 Frederick Road, Suite 502, Gaithersburg. Call Chia-May Dougherty at 301-978-9750.
