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Frederick Singles group dances into second decade

‘...Finding the right man is just icing on the cake.’

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Click here to enlarge this photo Bill Ryan⁄The Gazette John Van Brunt of New Windsor dances with Dianne McCullen of Westminster during a Feb. 19 Frederick Singles event. The group celebrates 20 years this weekend.

‘‘That means they are fresh meat,” says Dave Smith, 46. ‘‘Everyone looks for first-timers.”

Smith says he hails from Carroll County. He also insists his name is ‘‘Smith.” He is no newcomer and quite the wisecracker. If he forgets his membership card, he says, he can just get a new one with a new moniker.

‘‘You can be anyone you want to be,” he says over the thump of music. Smith is always on the lookout for younger women.

‘‘They need younger women here – not, like, 20-year-olds, but 35-plus,” he says, his eyes tracking a line of women headed to the dance floor. His friend Bill Parker, 51, disagrees. He prefers women to be ‘‘a bit older.”

Celebrating its 20th anniversary on Sunday, Frederick Singles charges $7 for its popular dances and no membership fee. Ages range from mid-20s to 80, with most folks falling in the middle.

The only criterion for membership is to be single, or at least separated and not living with one’s legal mate. At last count, according to treasurer Bob Burns, Frederick Singles had 3,500 members. Fortunately, they do not show up at the same time since the ballroom only holds 600. The 500-plus crowd at the dance Feb. 19 is bigger than usual. A Monday federal holiday means the three-hour dance is extended to four hours and everyone can sleep late.

Alan Bates, 49, and friend John Taylor, 58, drove from Leesburg, Va., for the event. They stand on the edge of the floor, drinking beer and scoping ladies.

‘‘I came tonight because there is a holiday tomorrow and the teachers have off work,” Bates says. ‘‘Teachers are the wildest.”

Daddy’s rock ‘n roll

Mostly women are strutting their stuff, but plenty of guys join in on the group dances like the ‘‘Electric Slide”.

Many of the dancers are quite accomplished. Some have had tons of practice, attending the dances since Frederick Singles’ inception in 1986. The organization was founded by a few members of Parents Without Partners who wanted a more upbeat venue to meet the opposite sex. As Frederick Singles took off, Frederick’s PWP chapter folded.

‘‘As a young mother, your time and money is limited. If you want to meet a man, why go to a covered dish supper and meet three, maybe four when you can meet a couple hundred?” said Ronnie Lynn Osterman, Frederick Singles’ president and co-founder.

The dynamo is twice divorced, and still single after all these years, though she was engaged twice. Some people, she says, meet the person of their dreams the first time at the dance.

‘‘Sometimes people say to me, aren’t you envious that so many others have found someone and you haven’t?,” she says. ‘‘But I am very happy for them. I have a good life, good friends ... finding the right man is just icing on the cake.”

Still, she is a romantic. Of course she wants to fall in love and grow old with her soul mate. She also believes in fate. It is all about timing, she says.

Great expectations

Everyone brings different expectations to Frederick Singles. Plenty of people are looking for that special someone, while others just want to indulge their love of dancing.

‘‘I’ve been coming for 20 years and I know everybody,” Dottie Kuhrmann of Lake Linganore says. ‘‘I’m a dancer. Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday I’m dancing, honey.”

Like Osterman, Kurhman is an attractive, busy divorcee. Instead of throwing herself into volunteer work like Osterman, though, Kurhman likes to get physical with golf and tennis.

‘‘I’m not telling my age. You get branded and the younger men won’t dance with you,” she says with a smile.

Newcomers like mother and daughter Brenda Morgan, 44, and Melissa Johnson, 25, tried going to local bars to meet guys.

‘‘Men you meet in bars generally lie. They tell you they are single when they aren’t,” Johnson says.

Mom chimes in: ‘‘They just don’t know what they are looking for.”

These women are clear about their goals: Johnson wants husband material. Morgan wants companionship, someone to travel with. Both agree dating is tough.

‘‘After 15 years of marriage, I was scared to get back out there. A friend told us this was a nice place with nice people ... So far, it seems nice,” Morgan says.

Nearby, two men hover against the wall, the shorter one reeking of Aramis, a handful of grease in his hair and a pack of Marlboros peeking from his pocket. His younger friend sports two earrings and is alarmed by the flash of a camera and the presence of media. Both have removed their nametags.

‘‘Can they take your picture here?” asks earring man.

Not willing to give out names, the older guy is still willing to talk.

‘‘What amazes me most is how far people come for this. I met someone from Pasadena [Md.] and we’re from Hagerstown. They do draw a helluva crowd,” he says, casting an appreciative eye toward Morgan and Johnson

Group gives back

It is not all about fun and games. Frederick Singles, a nonprofit group, makes a pot of money and donates chunks of it every year to charitable causes like the Alzheimer’s Association, Hospice, Heartly House, and the food bank.

They are most proud of the $1,000 Frederick Community College scholarship they give to students with single parents.

‘‘The amount varies from year to year,” says treasurer Burns. ‘‘The ongoing scholarship is the big thing. And every year we collect food, donate turkeys and contribute money to the food bank.”

The board of directors gets paid a stipend for the work they do, he said, but ‘‘not enough to make a living.”

The group still finds ways to have fun aside from dancing with an annual trip that is open to anyone, married or single. Folks have brought spouses, grandchildren. Last year, a honeymooning couple tagged along. Groups between 12 and 50 people have traveled abroad to Paris, London, Scotland, or Germany. Every other year, the trip is a cruise. This year, the ship sails for Nova Scotia.

‘‘Years ago, there was the perception that singles go on group trips to do a lot of drinking and screwing around,” Osterman said. ‘‘Sure, it goes on, but we are not like that. We are just a nice group of single people.”