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Tammie Amoroso, a mentor for teen moms, remembers a recent baby shower she organized for a young mother. The mom's wish list included only 10 items — few of them essential.
"Other than a crib, she asked for things such as bath toys and rattles," said Amoroso, founder of Mentor, Encourage, Lift and Love Inc. "She didn't think to request bottles, formula, bibs or receiving blankets."
As a former teen mom herself, Amoroso helps teens develop the mindset, self-esteem and skills to find good jobs and build successful lives for themselves and their children.
Her organization primarily serves teens in Prince George's and Anne Arundel counties, although she's willing to assist wherever there's a need.
Amoroso and her volunteers have spoken to youth at Laurel High School and organized an event for teen foster care moms in Silver Spring. She also conducts an annual diaper drive for Sarah's House, which provides emergency shelter and transitional housing for families at Fort Meade.
According to Amoroso, almost 7,000 teens in Maryland under the age of 20 became pregnant in 2007. Amoroso gave birth to her first son, Mell, at age 18. Although she did have family support, she says some of the people involved in her life weren't good for her son. He's now serving a 35-year sentence in the Maryland Department of Corrections.
Now 41, Amoroso remembers the difficulties she faced trying to find child care and a good job. She wasn't able to finish college and even though she knew her son had attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, she didn't know where to go for help.
"I just muddled through," she said.
She wants to help others learn from her mistakes. Teen moms, Amoroso said, need financial as well as emotional support.
"The teen mothers look for love in all the wrong places," Amoroso said. Further, she said, some aspects of society seem to glorify teen pregnancy. Teen moms even get lots of attention when they dress up their babies and show them off to their classmates.
"The teens aren't really thinking that they have to raise this child for 18 years," she said.
Working with about 10 volunteers, Amoroso teaches young women how to make good choices and serve as good role models.
"You don't need a new boyfriend every month," she said. "Don't put your child in front of music videos all day. Realize your former friends might not need to be around your kids."
One of the biggest areas of concern for young mothers is child care. Volunteer Rhonda Paige-Dunn, a family child-care provider in Laurel, informs teens how to select day care, how to get assistance to pay for it and more.
"I tell the teens not to choose someone who will hold their babies or put their children in front of the TV all day," Paige-Dunn said.
Instead, she reminds the moms that reading, exploration and other activities stimulate a child's physical and emotional development.
"I enjoy working with teens because I have three kids of my own," Paige-Dunn said. "Because I work with preschoolers all day, talking to teens helps me know how to communicate with my own 14-year-old daughter."
For Amoroso, communicating with teen mothers isn't always easy, even though she's shared many of their experiences. Some girls don't want to listen. A few, however, take Amoroso's advice.
One teen Amoroso met in 2005 went through such a rough period that she had to leave her son and move in with a relative. Today, the young mother is an AmeriCorp VISTA volunteer, and she invited Amoroso to her swearing-in ceremony. The mom also has her own place and visits with her son regularly.
"She's not where she should be, but she's growing," Amoroso said. "I'm not saying she didn't backslide, but with tolerance and patience you can encourage a teen to keep going."
Tammie Amoroso
How she makes a difference: Amoroso is the founder of Mentor, Encourage, Lift and Love, Inc., which helps teen mothers. Visit mentorencourageliftandlove.org.
